Literally or otherwise…
Prologue
Unlike most boys get to, I didn’t have to run after her, nor was I in a position to. But she gave me her heart . She trusted me with it… of course with a “*conditions apply” tag with it…
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I sat in the bus. Most of the seats were empty. I sat cozily in the back seat, by the window. The conductor was counting the change. The few in the bus, like me were enjoying their side seat wind and view. It was unusual for the bus to be this less crowded on a working day evening like today. Anyway I sat back and looked out of the window, actually looking at nothing…
The bus stopped at the next stop. That’s what stops are made for, right? I just sat looking who was entering. Through the back door an old lady entered and sat in one of the empty seats. The conductor rang the bell. But the bus didn’t move. Basically it’s not the bell .It’s the driver who gets it moving. So I wondered what the driver was waiting for.
Suddenly through the front entrance she entered the bus. A friend of her’s whom I knew not followed. Not that I knew all the rest of her friends. Still…That doesn’t challenge the fact that I didn’t know this one either.
Gooseflesh set in. I didn’t expect her now. I sat there awed, silently not knowing what to do. Should I go to her? Would she see me? Would she come to me and talk if she saw me? Or would she be uncomfortable talking to me with the friend around and ignore?
She didn’t notice me sitting in the back. They sat down in one of the front row seats. She sat by the window. They panted and laughed looking at each other, probably excited at having caught the bus after a long run together. Maybe she wouldn’t have minded me going to her and talking. But I myself was uncomfortable of talking in front of a person I knew not. So I sat there, contemplating her.
The bus was moving again. Their initial excitement and panting went down in some time. They now sat like two islands connected by a headphone, lost in their own worlds. She sat looking out of the window. Her hair flew in the wind. Once in a while she would move her fingers through them and put them in place. But that didn’t keep them from dancing in the wind. I wished I could run my fingers through them. She appeared lost in thoughts, maybe daydreams… about me??? Maybe!!!
The conductor rang the bell again. The bus stopped. She and her friend stood up and went out. I sat there watching her get out of the bus…
The conductor called out to me now “This is your stop here, sir.”
I came back to my senses. I ran out of the bus, thanking the conductor for reminding me. I stood there and looked around as the bus left. Then crossed the road, walked a few paces and turned right to enter a street road. The lane in which she lived. The road to her home...
Prologue continues…
…First and foremost of which was that I should visit her home very often. That I was always welcome there. That her parents would love me visiting. That they would love me like her. Like their own son… Even I love it there. Always felt home there…
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At a distance she and her friend were walking. They were talking all the time and laughing. I walked slowly so that they wouldn’t see me. She shouldn’t feel uncomfortable with her friend around. Though this one did feel a close friend. I can’t say. Girls do sweet-talk even to the girls they envy or hate, as if they were friends for the previous ten lifetimes. To be on the safer side I kept a safe distance and walked slowly.
She reached the front of her home. She bid her friend goodbye for the day and the friend walked her way. She opened the gate went in. A sudden thought came to me. If I get there immediately after she gets there, won’t her parents think we both came together? That we were fooling around together? Though it wasn’t true it would be hard to convince them. Though they wouldn’t express doubt, they wont buy it. Not that it really mattered. Still… so I waited there for some time.
A sudden honk of horn took me out of all the interwoven thoughts about her, me and the daydreams with her. I slowly walked towards her home, opened the gate, walked to the door and rang the doorbell. I waited there composing my mind, to face the one who would open the door.
I heard hasty footsteps coming towards the door. The bolts were opened and her mother stood in front of me.
She said “Aah, son! It’s you, come in. Come in. Sit down there” pointing at the chairs in the hall and continued “Father’s upstairs lighting the lamp. He’ll come soon. You just make yourself comfortable. I’ll make tea for you.”
I smiled gently and did as she said. She hurried off to the kitchen…
I sat back, relaxed. I felt home…
I heard someone running the floor above and looked up the staircase. There she was. After bath with a towel wound around her hair. She smiled like a child.Like a little cute child.She gestured she would come soon. I smiled. She looked so cute…
She was off, probably to her room. Hair drying, for girls (with some hair), is an elaborate process. Immensely time consuming as far as I know. I took a walk around the room, looking through her trophies, medals, childhood pictures, a few family photos and a lot of fancy statues…
Her father came down now and greeted me “When did you come?”
“Just now… a couple of minutes ago”
“ She also came just some time ago. Taking a bath I think”
“I saw”
He eyed at me suspiciously and I understood why.
I added “I mean, she came by the stairs before going to dry her hair” and smiled foolishly.
Prologue continues…
…She had said in her first letter that she waited for very long to give her heart to someone. Many handsome boys asked. But they weren’t deserving enough she said. She waited. She tried imagining and finding possibilities of a probable soul mate in every third person she met, she found none of them deserving enough. So she kept on waiting for her one. The one to own her heart. Her man…
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I sat relaxed and lost in my world till her father interrupted my daydreams and thoughts. As he came down the stairs he called out to me “Aah, when did you come?”
“Just… a couple of minutes ago” I answered standing up from the chair.
“Mother saw you , right?”
She called out from the kitchen “ I did. I did. How would he have got in if I hadn’t?”
Father ignored the her comment and came and sat down . I sat down.
He asked me “ Hows it now? You all right?
“Yes. Am allright. Still on drugs and exercises. But am perfectly allright.”
Her father leaned forwards and placed his right hand on my chest and closed his eyes, feeling my heart beat. A tear was on its making in the corner of his eye…
Prologue continues...(only to end)
…Her first letter to me was her last letter to anyone. I never saw her when she was alive. But I feel her alive within me. I owe her this life…and somehow am in love with her. I dream about her day and night. Maybe it’s because most people love themselves with all their heart. My heart still hasn’t lost it for her previous owner. She should have been a good person… a loving and caring person. That’s what her letter makes me feel. Cute too as the photos show... She is gone, and yet am in love with her, with all my heart, which belongs to her…literally or otherwise…
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love you all
hari
PS- Its around 1 in the morning now. am done editing this story like thing. urakkam varunnu. as ever entthu cheeta vilikanelum madikenda... post as comments or put as offlines :D
thanks to 2 songs for keeping me typing... tujhe bhula diya from anjaana anjaani and uyrile from vettayaadu vilayaadu :)
signing off, with lots and lots of love
hari
